Avoiding What Is

We were having a discussion about the differences in human nature and how that individuals seem to avoid one another when there are insurmountable differences in points of view and opinion. S looked my way and said, "L, you have often spoke of acceptance of others regardless of what they believe, but even you must admit that some people are "over the top" when it comes to religion and politics". The reply, it depends on ones perception. If you are looking from a position, that is you see through your particular mind set, then your opinions and judgements will reflect that position. S said, "I know that you stay the "middle path", but you must want to avoid extremes in others that seem outlandish". My reply, actually it is important not to avoid, for only then can you truly understand your own psychosis of opinion. The "middle path" does not mean that you avoid the extremes of the left or the right, it means that there are in fact no extremes and there is neither the left nor the right. The self that is generating a definition of left and right is the conditioning of a mind that dwells in the illusion of the known. You cannot realize understanding that transcends opinion, conclusion and judgement until you are aware of the origin of extremism that is the result of ones own conditioned consciousness. When you are aware choicelessly and see in the moment the workings of your own mind as it compares and concludes then it is possible to transcend opinion and arrive at a level of consciousness that accepts what is and understands totally without judging. Without creating a wall of division, rejection and suspicion. So there is actually no middle path, we just use the words middle path so that one may start to realize something that is not a product of ones conditioning. S said half jokingly, "But L, you must want to avoid some individuals that are not conducive to ones mental health." We all laughed at his cloaked innuendo. I said, again do not avoid, you are an emptiness that cannot be touched. I know it seems humorous not to avoid, but you will see that it is possible to be disarming without saying a word. It is possible to create love and understanding where there is none. It will come to you if you are selflessly aware in the moment, what comes out of you is the change in yourself that becomes the change in the other. It is the change of reflection which is the acceptance and understanding of what is. If one is not escaping into the projections of self then one can realize the true reality of the moment. A reality that is not the result of or a part of ones conditioning. If your life is a repetition of "what has been" as a belief, then you are caught in the past tense which then becomes a projection of the defined and thus conflicted. The mind must be free to discover the truth of the moment which is the new and never before.

S scratched his head and said "I see the truth in what you say but tell me what you mean by the new and never before"? Each moment in which the mind is aware of the movement of self as the projection of what was, lays the groundwork for the realization of a consciousness that is not a product of the self that knows. It is a consciousness that is absent any conditioning. It is a pure timeless awareness that transcends the mind that references in order to understand. Through this awareness each moment is the eternal, the realization of a reality that is not a continuity of each preceding moment. When you live in the illusion of a separate self that knows it is not possible to fathom such a reality. One has to step through the door that integrates, that allows one to realize a oneness, which is actually the realization of the truth of what is. If you see that each moment has physically and psychologically never happened before as a formulation of thought, then you may have a glimpse of something beyond the self that knows.

A Problematic Relationship

I was approached by a friend who wanted to question me about the "problems" of relationship. J said, "I am in a relationship with a man who is extremely jealous." "He is constantly suspicious of me, and questions me regarding all my activities with other men." "He has been violent toward me and I am at my wits end with his constant threats and criticism". "I do care for him but I do not know how to handle this jealously". J was visibly shaken and was looking for some sort of answer that would enable her to deal with the problem. J, you have to start with yourself, because all problems begin and end with the self. You cannot control the other, there is nothing you can do or say that will change the other person. You must accept the reality of the moment and be aware of the reactions of self. If you see that there is a snake in your path, you do not say I will try to reason with the snake and thus avoid being bitten. You know the true nature of the snake so you avoid it, not out of fear but out of intelligence. You are not judging the other by trying to inflict your "reason" on them. But rather you see the reflection of self in the other so you understand on a level that goes beyond the entrapment of emotional dependence. When there is psychological dependence, there is an attachment that feeds on feelings of fear and insecurity. You have emotional baggage and so does your partner, so there is a psycho-dynamic element that works to pull you together while simultaneously pushing you apart to the point where you both view yourselves as victims of the other. If you are in the moment not escaping into the faults of the other then it is possible to realize that the problem you comprehend is actually your creation, then you can end it. As long as you seek to blame the other, it will not end. Because the other gives a sense of validation to ones own view of self. J said, "I see that some of what you say is true, but how can I be responsible for his violence?" Forget responsibility, If there is no you, that is you cease being a victim, is there a problem? If you want the fire to go out you have to stop throwing fuel on it. You just walk away from it. You end it totally in the moment. J said, "but he will continue to hound me, call me and cause all sorts of problems with my friends". How will he bother you if there is no you to be bothered. Eventually the fire will be extinguished, but it has to start with you. If there is no you, then there is no one to respond or react. There is only the reality of the moment which is without a self that knows. When there is no you the other is forced to confront the reality of who he is in that moment. But he will not want to stay in the truth of the moment he will want to escape into his perceptions of you. As long as you are an "emptiness", that is you stay in the moment, he will not be able to escape. You are only a mirror that reflects the truth of what is. So eventually he will realize that you have changed, that he can no longer elicit a reaction by "pushing your buttons". In relationship, as long as you are psychologically attached, you will be expecting the other to be responsible for you happiness. Peace and happiness come from within. It is the outcome of the total freedom of the absolute moment in which there is a dissipation of the self that "knows".

How Do You Live?

One of my friends approached me the other day and said, "...but isn't emptiness terribly boring", (referring to a previous blog) we both laughed out loud. This friend was given to finding the humorous in every situation, but he is quite intelligent and astute. He went on to say "I enjoy reading you, you are so serious and seem other worldly on paper". "But in person you are such a regular and unassuming personality". "I have it! you are really two persons", muffling his laugh. "When you are on the computer writing your meditations/realizations you are the ghost of 'Krishnamurti' and when out and about you turn into this mild mannered somewhat eccentric and reclusive 'Man of the World' ". I said, well J, I think you "nailed" me. We laughed. " Tell me L, how do you live each day, what is your attitude, I mean what do you think about?" J, was now serious and wanted to know if this person actually lives what he writes. J, its just being aware in the moment. Seeing thoughts movement, as an entity that is removed from thoughts desire to become. If you accept what you are in the moment not escaping into thoughts projections, then you can realize true peace. J interrupted, "What do you mean by projection?" Projection is the minds way of looking and defining reality through its experience. When you project you are in essence looking at everything through your particular beliefs and making judgements accordingly. It is essentially through your prejudice that you look, see and understand. When you are aware and conscious of this activity, then is possible for you to realize that you are in reality totally conditioned. Now that you see, a new understanding is possible. You are what you are in the reality of the moment, seeing this is the essence of understanding that is not a projection of self. It is simply accepting that reality and staying with it from moment to moment. An interesting thing can happen if you do this as a sort of meditative alternative, its as if you live outside the self that knows and desires to know. The reactive mind that is conditioned by experience takes a back seat to a sense of awareness that is unconditioned. This entity that is unconditioned cannot be touched by events and circumstances that ordinarily cause conflict. It is not a movement itself but it understands totally the origin of thoughts movement and sees through the illusion of a self that is seeking its own validation in what is. It can only be a consciousness that is without movement when there is total freedom, that is to exist without attachment. When it is said a consciousness without movement what is meant is that it is without the conditioning of what was as the projection of what should be or could be. It is the total freedom of the absolute moment in which there is no movement. Its interesting, we think that life is a movement in time/space, but the true reality is that it is not a movement. That movement is why our thinking is limited. We travel psychologically in our minds from past through the present to the future. So thought is always moving, but true reality is only in the absolute moment, all else is the illusion of thoughts movement. There is only the moment, there is nothing else. So if I live in the moment then there is no conflict, because in the moment the reality is this. That there is no conflict without the movement of thought as that conflict, the duality of a defined self as the impetus for conflict. It is a choiceless and timeless awareness that sees into ones dualistic nature. To be aware is to be free of all that limits.

J said, "But L, how do you live this life of momentary reality without knowing and expecting whats in your head to exert its self?" "I mean your mind is moving, you cannot hope to completely control your thoughts and suppress what comes up as a natural reaction to what may be happening." This is true, it would be a mistake to try and suppress what comes up. The problem is how do we realize and have an understanding of how and why we react without its self being a reaction to a perceived something. How can we, seeing that we are in conflict not suppress it, but understand it? I think it starts out retrospectively, to use the minds ability to recall circumstances and apply that as a seeing in the moment. To realize that minds reaction is only a reflection of the desire for what was as what is. How can we see through all this without it being "intellectual gamesmanship". J said, "I see the point, words are so inadequate and they tend to confuse more than help in understanding the human condition." "I know you are trying to explain what cannot be explained as I have heard you say on many occasions". Yes words or explanation are never the "thing", the reality. They only point to the possibility that one may be able to see and understand. Each individual must find their own way and it must be free of attachment. Otherwise you may get caught in the illusion of a philosophical or religious formulation with all the nonsense of its rituals. Rituals and dogma only add to the conditioning of a mind that is constantly in conflict to one degree or another. J added, "Yes, yes I see that, but the hard question is realizing all this what is the process that allows YOU to deal with this conflict as it comes up, I mean for you personally?" That is a good question, I am no different than anyone else who must live in a society of individuals that are self involved. For me it is seeing the origin of all conflict in myself. There is no conflict except that the mind creates conflict. I am the beginning and the end of all conflict. The conflict that I see and experience is actually just a reflection of my own inner turmoil. Now I can realize this conceptually as a concept or it can be an actual experiencing in the moment. As a concept, it is subject to my mind set, my interpretation and conclusion. Which may lead me to dismiss, justify or reconcile. But in the reality of the moment I am aware that it is me, it is not an idea of me, it is actually me. So if I realize that I am actually this conflict, then only I can end it. I understand its origin and with that its dissipation. With me personally, because I am in the moment and aware, when conflict comes up, it also dissipates in that same moment. Awareness is very powerful and dynamic, it starts off small, slowly. The more you are aware the more in the moment you live. Till eventually a person may live unconditionally, that is living as a consciousness that exist in the total freedom of the absolute moment. J asked, "Do you exist in that total freedom?" In truth I cannot say, for me it is not part of knowing. Freedom is like a rebirth from moment to moment. Freedom illumines, but it is not a static knowing.