How Do You Live?

One of my friends approached me the other day and said, "...but isn't emptiness terribly boring", (referring to a previous blog) we both laughed out loud. This friend was given to finding the humorous in every situation, but he is quite intelligent and astute. He went on to say "I enjoy reading you, you are so serious and seem other worldly on paper". "But in person you are such a regular and unassuming personality". "I have it! you are really two persons", muffling his laugh. "When you are on the computer writing your meditations/realizations you are the ghost of 'Krishnamurti' and when out and about you turn into this mild mannered somewhat eccentric and reclusive 'Man of the World' ". I said, well J, I think you "nailed" me. We laughed. " Tell me L, how do you live each day, what is your attitude, I mean what do you think about?" J, was now serious and wanted to know if this person actually lives what he writes. J, its just being aware in the moment. Seeing thoughts movement, as an entity that is removed from thoughts desire to become. If you accept what you are in the moment not escaping into thoughts projections, then you can realize true peace. J interrupted, "What do you mean by projection?" Projection is the minds way of looking and defining reality through its experience. When you project you are in essence looking at everything through your particular beliefs and making judgements accordingly. It is essentially through your prejudice that you look, see and understand. When you are aware and conscious of this activity, then is possible for you to realize that you are in reality totally conditioned. Now that you see, a new understanding is possible. You are what you are in the reality of the moment, seeing this is the essence of understanding that is not a projection of self. It is simply accepting that reality and staying with it from moment to moment. An interesting thing can happen if you do this as a sort of meditative alternative, its as if you live outside the self that knows and desires to know. The reactive mind that is conditioned by experience takes a back seat to a sense of awareness that is unconditioned. This entity that is unconditioned cannot be touched by events and circumstances that ordinarily cause conflict. It is not a movement itself but it understands totally the origin of thoughts movement and sees through the illusion of a self that is seeking its own validation in what is. It can only be a consciousness that is without movement when there is total freedom, that is to exist without attachment. When it is said a consciousness without movement what is meant is that it is without the conditioning of what was as the projection of what should be or could be. It is the total freedom of the absolute moment in which there is no movement. Its interesting, we think that life is a movement in time/space, but the true reality is that it is not a movement. That movement is why our thinking is limited. We travel psychologically in our minds from past through the present to the future. So thought is always moving, but true reality is only in the absolute moment, all else is the illusion of thoughts movement. There is only the moment, there is nothing else. So if I live in the moment then there is no conflict, because in the moment the reality is this. That there is no conflict without the movement of thought as that conflict, the duality of a defined self as the impetus for conflict. It is a choiceless and timeless awareness that sees into ones dualistic nature. To be aware is to be free of all that limits.

J said, "But L, how do you live this life of momentary reality without knowing and expecting whats in your head to exert its self?" "I mean your mind is moving, you cannot hope to completely control your thoughts and suppress what comes up as a natural reaction to what may be happening." This is true, it would be a mistake to try and suppress what comes up. The problem is how do we realize and have an understanding of how and why we react without its self being a reaction to a perceived something. How can we, seeing that we are in conflict not suppress it, but understand it? I think it starts out retrospectively, to use the minds ability to recall circumstances and apply that as a seeing in the moment. To realize that minds reaction is only a reflection of the desire for what was as what is. How can we see through all this without it being "intellectual gamesmanship". J said, "I see the point, words are so inadequate and they tend to confuse more than help in understanding the human condition." "I know you are trying to explain what cannot be explained as I have heard you say on many occasions". Yes words or explanation are never the "thing", the reality. They only point to the possibility that one may be able to see and understand. Each individual must find their own way and it must be free of attachment. Otherwise you may get caught in the illusion of a philosophical or religious formulation with all the nonsense of its rituals. Rituals and dogma only add to the conditioning of a mind that is constantly in conflict to one degree or another. J added, "Yes, yes I see that, but the hard question is realizing all this what is the process that allows YOU to deal with this conflict as it comes up, I mean for you personally?" That is a good question, I am no different than anyone else who must live in a society of individuals that are self involved. For me it is seeing the origin of all conflict in myself. There is no conflict except that the mind creates conflict. I am the beginning and the end of all conflict. The conflict that I see and experience is actually just a reflection of my own inner turmoil. Now I can realize this conceptually as a concept or it can be an actual experiencing in the moment. As a concept, it is subject to my mind set, my interpretation and conclusion. Which may lead me to dismiss, justify or reconcile. But in the reality of the moment I am aware that it is me, it is not an idea of me, it is actually me. So if I realize that I am actually this conflict, then only I can end it. I understand its origin and with that its dissipation. With me personally, because I am in the moment and aware, when conflict comes up, it also dissipates in that same moment. Awareness is very powerful and dynamic, it starts off small, slowly. The more you are aware the more in the moment you live. Till eventually a person may live unconditionally, that is living as a consciousness that exist in the total freedom of the absolute moment. J asked, "Do you exist in that total freedom?" In truth I cannot say, for me it is not part of knowing. Freedom is like a rebirth from moment to moment. Freedom illumines, but it is not a static knowing.