Why Are We Searching?

On a path along the way I was searching for "something", perhaps an experience of the mystical. Conformed to the idea that there is a spiritual presence that somehow would reveal itself in time, if only I practiced some discipline or listened to the teachings of a "master". So one searches and seeks out the "secret" studying the "illuminating" doctrines of ancient text's. And it goes on for years on end traveling from one end of the earth to the other. The search and the seeking become the future "accomplishment" the projected illusion of what is just around the corner, at the next Ashram, the next "enlightened" teacher. So it is with life, the mind is always looking to the future. What one intends to become or accomplish. So a person misses the moment because one is so self absorbed with projected self illusion. Then one day, it happens quite by accident, in a state of mind that is without intent. In a moment of clarity, when the self is not, you realize as Buddha did that change is in the moment. Somehow you come to a place of total psychological exhaustion a moment when all seeking ends. And despite all your accumulations of spiritual non-sense and the brainwashing of innumerable so called spiritual personalities, there is suddenly a freedom that is uninvited. The vulnerability of total surrender to the truth of the absolute moment. You are dumbfounded by the simplicity of the realization of a consciousness that is without the self. There is no movement, one is in a stasis of uninterrupted silence, a silence that is the absence of thoughts movement as the self that knows. One is awash in a wave of internal peace that knows no reason or desire.

So despite all ones efforts to live a life of spiritual greediness of accumulating the spoils of ones seeking, it is possible to realize a truth that is beyond ones self absorbed fantasy's. If a person can let go of all the accumulated junk that the mind clings to, then there is the possibility that one may realize a freedom that is beyond thoughts imaginings. As long as there is a self that knows and searches one will be caught in the illusion of a future. One will always be escaping the truth of the moment for the fantasy of minds self created illusion.

So what is one to do? Since it is your doing that is the problem, one needs to realize the truth about the self. To be totally aware in the moment of the obvious and hidden motivations of the self. You need to see without looking through your opinions and conclusions, which cloud the truth. To realize a consciousness that is not of the self. Then there is new vision, a new way of looking that sees as an absence rather than a presence. That absence is the unconditioned intelligence of a mind that is not caught in the self created illusions of that which thinks it "knows". Not knowing is the selflessness of life lived in the vulnerability of unattachment. Freedom that is beyond the named and identified.