Your Life is a Neurosis

I was in meditation early this morning, there was a peace that came over me, a calm that was not a result of any activity of the self. When in a state of complete acceptance and allowing then it is possible to realize the truth of the moment. That truth is seeing directly into the nature of a mind that is fraught with the neurosis of competing ideals. The mind cannot realize true peace until there is a consciousness that sees without the self absorbed neurosis of thoughts knowing. One must realize in the moment just how completely neurotic are the activities of self. If you are aware and watch your own thought/movements without judging or excusing them, then it is possible for you to have a very deep realization about the extent of your own result oriented behavior. Neurotic behavior seeks out that which conforms to ones selected ideals. If one could only see in the moment the extent to which one is controlled by the habitual neurosis of a conditioned mind, then there would be the possibility of something undefined.

When I speak of neurosis I am referring to the whole field of thought that encompasses all behavioral elements of a mind that is seeking its own image in what is. If you look without the conditioning of the past then it is possible to see just how completely neurotic the self is. Because one is looking for the repetition of that which provides security, one is in angst over the possibility of not having that security. If I am always escaping the moment for the reassurance of a secure future, then I miss the reality of what is and instead create all manner of neurosis to fill the space of that moment.

So here is the bomb, you actually live a life that moves from one neurotic moment to the next, not realizing that the mind is suffering from a kind of sickness. If the mind was free of its conditioning then you would see this in a instant and the neurosis would dissipate of its own accord. You would move from a self consciousness to a consciousness that is devoid of the duality of a self that knows. When there is no thought as the movement of self then there is space for that which is beyond knowing. It is a peace that cannot be defined, therefore it cannot be of the future but only of the absolute moment.

The Relationship of Association to Attachment

It is interesting how the mind associates. We separate and then create an ideal of characteristics that become common ground for a belief. Then we proceed to edit our belief so that it will fit our individualistic goals. In order to believe in an ideal we must constantly modify our perception of "what is" so that it conforms to what we have associated ourselves with. For example if I am of the opinion that Buddhism is a belief system and I want to follow that system, then I will associate my self perception with "things" Buddhist. I will create a relationship out of things that I perceive as "Buddhist". So the mind moves through the conceptual ideals of a belief system that limits, contradicts, and ultimately creates an atmosphere of separation and division.

This activity of mind is the result of the dual nature of thought. But it is not enough to understand the conceptuality of ones dual nature through association and conceptual analysis. Clearly a person cannot truly "realize" through a mind that is caught up in its own self defined efforts. The mind must be clear of all associations. Associations of any kind create and support the dualistic nature of thoughts seeking. What is sought is always the illusion of the self created. All the formulations of systems of belief are merely the result of the desire for association and identification. They never deliver what is sought only the illusion of accomplishment. The illusion of accomplishment becomes the conflict of attachment. Attachment becomes the violence of position and opposition.

If you are aware of the whole process, without judging or concluding, then you will be "experiencing" the freedom of the undefined. That freedom is all that is needed to negate the conflict of association and attachment. When there is no longer a thing to be sought, then there is the dissipation of duality. Thinker and thought meld into the realization of the moment.

The Source of All Anxiety

I was talking to friend about fear. This person was feeling anxiety over an up coming air travel trip and was in a state of emotional distress. Even though there was understanding of how the mind works with regard to fear, this person was unable to let go of the anxiety that was building. The subconscious mind has accumulated many related experiences that contribute to a state of confusion and conflict. Circumstances can bring these experiences to the surface in the form of emotional attachment to a projected reality in combination with the self that is seeking continuity. If you are escaping the moment through emotional release then you cannot have understanding that transcends the self that is always seeking continuance. This is not to say that you avoid emotion, for in reality you cannot. Emotion has its roots in the memory of what was. What was, is the content of a mind that is conditioned to react. Reactions are the product of a mind that is lost in the unreality of projected illusion. If the moment is true reality then all else is the minds attempt to understand through the projection of its own content, which is without validity in the absolute moment. In the moment you are totally free, one needs only to see without a self that is the movement of time. When there ceases to be a self that exist as a duality in space/time then there is an absence of comparison and conclusion. This is a state of existence which allows the moment and the realization of the truth of that moment. Freedom is the truth of the moment. Freedom that transcends all activity of a mind that is seeking what is through what was.

It is actually a very simple thing. One must simply be aware of the minds movement in time, how that it attempts to grasp meaning and definition out of and through what was (memory). It is not enough to simply understand this intellectually or conceptually. It must be a direct experiencing in the absolute moment that is absent a self perpetuating consciousness of accommodation and accomplishment. One simply observes without making a judgement or a conclusion. It is an awareness that is absent a self that is aware. Awareness that is unconditioned peels back the layers of the subconscious mind and allows one to see directly without the one who is seeking to know. As a person's level of awareness increases, one finds that there is a gradual release of psychological baggage that has been the source of much conflict and emotional instability. What we are referring to cannot be taught, a person must see and experience in the moment without a mind that is referencing. Otherwise it is just the result of the opinions and conclusions of another. It must be original without any connection to what has gone on before. There is neither belief nor non-belief, there is only the truth of the absolute moment, which is the awareness of an unconditioned consciousness.

Letting go of the Moment

It is no secret that I constantly write and talk about freedom. But the freedom that I refer to goes beyond the mere ideals of a mind that thinks in terms of escaping some tangible or intangible attachment. So what is the essence of such a freedom? At the risk of sounding like an esoteric adept, it is beyond all measures of a mind that is caught in the known and in the activity of knowing. It is a mind that is in a constant state of release. A mind that lets go of each and every thought moment as they arise and dissipate. When a person sees into the very depth of each and every encounter and that each encounter is a reflection of self, that experiencing of seeing without seeking is freedom. The reflection of self realization is seeing in the moment all that is the conflict and confusion of thoughts dual nature. Freedom is the outcome of the total realization and understanding of that duality.

The mind sees the contradiction and emotional instability that is inherent in thoughts need to be attached and to repeat and relive the past. One wants to hold on to what has occurred and to find a better way, to improve through repetition. So one is caught in this never ending circle of holding on to our moments of indecision and triumph, to relive in the mind what is sought. This is the confusion and conflict of thoughts desire to overcome.

How can I help you see the futility and utter nonsensical activity of a mind that keeps jumping from one attachment to another. To see that you are not at peace because your mind and thoughts are clouded with the emotional turmoil of self projection and self objectification. You have to come to a place of meditated non-movement, an awareness that transcends your normal self absorbed activities. Notice that I did not say meditation, it must not be an activity that is seeking a reward or an accomplishment. It must be transparent, non-motivational, and spontaneously in the moment. It is easy just look at the moment, be aware of the inner and outer movement of ones consciousness. Take note of the moment and follow your thoughts , be totally aware but without judgement or conclusion. Discover a new consciousness that sees without a seer, a consciousness that is not attached or defined, that is without the conditioning of the past. Now you will let go because there will be no you to hold on....each moment is its own release.

What is Commitment?

What does it mean to commit your self to some action or activity that implies a result? Why does the mind say, "I must commit so that I can achieve"? Is it not the outcome of ones judgement of the self that is seeking the perception of change? It implies an element of time. Commitment and its accompanying result is thoughts movement through time as the self that knows. But what is it that the self actually accomplishes? If the known is the illusion of a self that thinks it knows, then its movement as a commitment is also an illusion. If we agree that the moment is the only reality (and it is), then how can a future moment be anything but the fantasy of the hoped for?

If you realize in the moment that you need to lose weight or be more peaceful, then the truth of that realization is your action in the moment, not in a future moment. If we think in terms of a future result, then what one is actually doing is escaping the realization of that moment. The entire self help industry is based on this fallacy. It plays on your desire to ignore the truth of the moment and instead delays realizing an intelligence that sees into very nature of that truth. You don't need a system or a supplement of pills and platitudes to prompt action in the moment. One only needs to see and realize the true self which is not lacking, sordid or incompetent. There is no "will power" involved in seeing the truth, it is simply staying in the moment and accepting the reality of what is. Because the mind is continuously projecting what should be, it cannot deal intelligently with the actual reality of what is. All the teachers, guru's, and self help nut cases are just assisting you with your illusions about self. They are all telling you that you need to change and that change takes time and that you must "follow". Change is in the moment or it is not at all. There is nothing in your illusion of the future that is more important than the reality of the absolute moment. You just have to rid yourself of the guilt that you have accumulated as a result of all the political, religious and idealistic authorities that have been brain washing you for years. If you follow anyone you will be committing yourself to a life time of denigrating mediocrity that imprisons you mind and keeps you in the darkness of the known. The moment frees you totally, for it is in the moment that the true self is realized. But one must see the futility of commitment to an ideal. The mind must release all that pent up anger toward the self which is manifested in our habits and attitudes. You don't need to commit, you just have to see.