Your Life is a Neurosis

I was in meditation early this morning, there was a peace that came over me, a calm that was not a result of any activity of the self. When in a state of complete acceptance and allowing then it is possible to realize the truth of the moment. That truth is seeing directly into the nature of a mind that is fraught with the neurosis of competing ideals. The mind cannot realize true peace until there is a consciousness that sees without the self absorbed neurosis of thoughts knowing. One must realize in the moment just how completely neurotic are the activities of self. If you are aware and watch your own thought/movements without judging or excusing them, then it is possible for you to have a very deep realization about the extent of your own result oriented behavior. Neurotic behavior seeks out that which conforms to ones selected ideals. If one could only see in the moment the extent to which one is controlled by the habitual neurosis of a conditioned mind, then there would be the possibility of something undefined.

When I speak of neurosis I am referring to the whole field of thought that encompasses all behavioral elements of a mind that is seeking its own image in what is. If you look without the conditioning of the past then it is possible to see just how completely neurotic the self is. Because one is looking for the repetition of that which provides security, one is in angst over the possibility of not having that security. If I am always escaping the moment for the reassurance of a secure future, then I miss the reality of what is and instead create all manner of neurosis to fill the space of that moment.

So here is the bomb, you actually live a life that moves from one neurotic moment to the next, not realizing that the mind is suffering from a kind of sickness. If the mind was free of its conditioning then you would see this in a instant and the neurosis would dissipate of its own accord. You would move from a self consciousness to a consciousness that is devoid of the duality of a self that knows. When there is no thought as the movement of self then there is space for that which is beyond knowing. It is a peace that cannot be defined, therefore it cannot be of the future but only of the absolute moment.