Disconnect

Trying to realize a state of existence that is devoid of self conscious idealism is very difficult. It requires a mind that recognizes its own inadequacy in understanding the subtlety and depth of psychological conflict. The mind that is clouded with all its accumulations (over a lifetime) is a mind that is "old" and unable to see the newness of each moment. It is in the nature of thought to pile things on in the form of "new" ideas to supersede the old. But all we are doing is adding to the confusion that is the essence of a mind that accumulates. We are essentially creating the conflict of competing ideals within the context of a mind that is already disturbed by its inability to let go of the past. We are endlessly adding too and are never completely ending or dying to our past. For this reason we cannot look at actual reality with a fresh mind that is not hindered by conclusions and opinions that are the result of the past. We are trapped in an endless maze of self perpetuating conflict.

The "self" is the bridge from past through present to future. But it is a bridge to no where. This is so because the self is the illusion of thoughts permanency, the accumulated idealistic definition, which projects its self into the moment. So one lives through the projection and not in the reality. One cannot fully appreciate or realize the fundamental truth of this fact unless there has been a realization that is absent self motivation, a disconnected state of consciousness that allows for a freedom that cannot be defined or known. It is a state of existence that is totally devoid of any defined elemental or consequential "raison de' tere".

When you disconnect, you are in the void. It is a state of total awareness that is freedom from knowing, a freedom that is absent an entity that is being aware. Within this state of awareness is a sensitivity to the subtlety's of a mind that is seeking. One may be experiencing insight into the hidden nuances of violence and conflict that is the true reality of ones day to day existence. In abandonment of the self there is the possibility of something not realized through the teaching of others. All that you have invested in spiritual pursuits must be left behind, because it is part of the problem. It is all part of the illusion of the self created. If one is at all serious about realization of the true self, then there must be a negation of all save the truth of the absolute moment. Can you disconnect? Walk away from all your beliefs and attachments? Its not a enough to just put them on the back burner. There has to be a total release otherwise you will fall back in the same old rut. You will just be living a modification of what your life has been up till now. It is the repetition of the known with a new wrapping. Its not easy to let go, there is the illusion of the security of knowing. But if one is passionate there is the possibility.

The Vehicle

In the chronology of "Buddhist" beliefs there is the notion that one needs to apply ones self to a method that brings a person to a state of realization, of enlightenment. The various sect's of Buddhism tout the advantages of there "path" as being the "true practice" toward enlightenment. But what is the state of a mind that is involved in the practice of a "method". Have you not given yourself over to an authority? That authority becomes a replacement for the authority of the self. But eventually the self creates the illusion of attachment to an ideal. The ideal of "Buddhism". Now one becomes the "idealistic Buddhist". The authority of the self is reasserted as a "Buddhist" that believes in a future accomplishment. One escapes the moment and projects the image of the ideal. So one is caught in the illusion of enlightenment as an idealistic belief. As long as one is captured by an authority that is dictating a method of accomplishment there is the illusion of a self that acquires. If you belong to a "vehicle" you are identified and entrenched whether you want to admit it or not. To belong to some form of organized effort is to deny ones self the freedom to see, to realize the truth of the moment. Essentially one is replacing one type of illusion with another. The mind is engaged in substitution so that it can continue as it always has, in the illusion of a self that is seeking.

The truth of the Buddha's message is lost in the vehicle of these various sect's which exist for there own best interest. They are organizations of confusion and contradiction. They teach freedom but freedom cannot be realized in an enclosed environment of belief and doctrine. So you are either free of all illusion or you are not free at all. One does not need a vehicle or doctrine to realize the true self. One just has to be aware. Methodical practices make one less aware and encourage a type of substitution that traps the mind into a deluded state of gratification. Many will argue that the vehicle provides necessary steps toward freedom. But why go through all that doctrinal mind control, when it is possible to realize directly? One does not need to break down the illusion of individuality and duality in order to realize. One just needs to look in the moment and see directly the mind that is deluded by its own devices. If you can bypass the allure of "Buddhist Beliefs" and see directly in the same way that Buddha did then you will realize a consciousness that is unconditioned, totally free of all meaningless doctrines. Buddha's realization came out of nothingness, out of the total negation of all save the truth of the absolute moment in which there is the dissipation of the self that knows.

What is Stress?

There is a popular subject making the rounds of the intellectual and mental health community, "Stress Management"? A person may ask the question is it at all possible to live completely without stress? And what is stress "actually"? If we want to know the actual truth of what stress is then we must disregard the minds definition of stress and what images are associated with it. If we cling to definition and association then we have limited our understanding to the minds search for relief and escape. Are there kinds of stress or only the "one" psychological imprint of stress? If we cease the activity of associating various types of conflict with the idea of stress then something else may happen. We may realize the whole field of thought that creates conflict and its resulting stress.

The mind is seeking an ideal state of existence, one in which we are constantly trying to free ourselves from worry and anxiety. Therefore the mind is always at various levels of stress. Because we cannot psychologically accept the reality of what is, we stress ourselves into seeking thoughts craving for what should be. The mind that is seeking the imagined, the ideal, is a mind that is caught in the illusion and conflict of self. It is the self that is the creation of thoughts desire for a continuing individuality that has a purpose and a definition. It is this defined individuality that is at the core of stress, indeed, it is the very root of all illusion and conflict. As long as one is centered in the self that is the result of minds craving for permanency and definition, a person will be experiencing various levels of stress. On the one hand there is the reality of "what is" on the other is the ideal, the minds "what should be". If a person stays with what is then there is the possibility of understanding that is the dissipation of all stress, but if one escapes into what should be then there is the conflict of stress and all its associated illnesses.

True understanding is always in the moment. One must stay with the reality of what is so that the mind can break through its illusion and see that thought as the self is the problem. One must realize that fear is self created and its result is the anxiety of stress. A person may realize that there are not kinds of stress, there is only "stress" as the result of minds fear of the reality of the moment. "Fear" is the image not the reality of what is. Image is the known, what was, as a modified projection of what should be. Because one is in fear, there is always the stress of expected consequences. So life is not lived in the moment, life is lived in the fear of a future moment which is the illusion of projected conflict.

Joy, peace and love are only in the moment. Stress in the moment is the result of a mind that is caught in the illusion of self projection, a mind that wants to escape the moment. If one can break through self illusion then there is the possibility of a life lived in complete harmony no matter the circumstances. So there is no such thing as managing stress, there is only escape or acceptance. To manage implies a individuality that is in control and is capable of controlling a psychological event. But the self is the problem so it cannot manage or solve what is the result of its very existence. Understanding the whole dynamic of thoughts creation of the self and the illusion of duality is the beginning of an intelligence that sees into the source of all conflict. So if you try manage stress, you are caught and entrenched it its illusion. But if you understand the origin of stress and its resulting conflict then it will dissipate of its own accord. The mind realizes its own self created illusion and sees perhaps for the first time the true self and realizes a consciousness that is unconditioned.

Words Language and Reality

Defining reality with words in a language that provides complete understanding is an impossible task. The "word" is never the reality. It is a conceptual approximation of ones sensual experience. Thought is mathematical, it thinks in terms of logical quantitative results. That which can be measured in some form. Definition is the measurement of reality in terms of ones experiential knowing. What is known is always in the past tense. The past cannot possibly exist in the present. Thought exist as the past, as that which knows, and projects the past as a measurement of the present. When the conceptual past is used to measure and understand the present one is caught in the illusion of self as the defined past. The illusion measures and defines the present and predicts the future. The present has never existed before yet we utilize the past to try and understand the moment. So our efforts are wholly incomplete and subject to the speculative ideals of ones culture, experience, beliefs and intellect.

A person may then realize that ones life is actually a continuous modified repetition of the past. Because we believe that there is security in knowing we seek continuance as a modification of what has been. We also project that repetition as "what should be" regardless of the reality. So we are caught in this continuous loop of wanting and projecting. We live in our own little self contained world, that is almost totally without reality. Everyday we are faced with a new reality of life but respond with yesterdays news, with the illusion of what was. If you live in the illusion of yesterday then you are always being disappointed and confused. Because actual reality does not fit into our compartmentalized thinking, we become frustrated and conflicted.

When the mind is free it "accepts" the reality of what is. One is not trying to change things to satisfy ones neurotic self image. The mind "bends" with the realities of the absolute present and is not engaged in a stiff counter reaction or an escape. It is the calm serenity of a mind that is meditative and without the need to "conquer" and "subdue". This does not mean that one condones the activities of the moment, it means that one understands without judgement or conclusion. When there is understanding that is not the result of self promotion and prejudiced then there is the possibility of a communion. A state of mind that is the outcome of an unconditioned intelligence that sees the truth directly. Communion is direct perception that is without words and language that are subject to interpretation and intellect. A communion of minds can only occur when there is a singularity of consciousness that is the the outcome of an unconditioned presence. That is people realize there own true self that is without identification and attachment and therefore are of one mind. That mind exist only in the absolute moment and is essentially "no mind", the exclusion of all save the peace and joy of life in the moment.

One might say its a dream a utopia of imagined fantasy. But actually its very real and if you can see and understand your own illusion then it is possible for you to realize. It is not easy to leave all your illusions of security, your beliefs and prejudices. To be free is not in ones mind set, to be trapped and in prison is. So if you have the intellectual capacity to break free and see the truth of the moment then you will realize, otherwise you will just be a continuance of the world you have created.

Finding the True Self

People generally do not want to face the actual reality of the moment. What you are in the moment is a repetition of all that goes on in the world. All the hate, dissatisfaction, and utter confusion that is the self is reflected in the world. What you see is what you are. What you speak defines your motivations and your ignorance. To seek its opposite is to fuel the repetition of the very thing that you seek to escape. When one lives in illusion one seeks escape in the self created images of the divine. The divine whether it is Buddha, Mohamed, Christ or Xyz makes no difference because it is your creation, your escape from the world you have created. But you cannot escape because the escape is the problem, it is ones refusal to accept responsibility for the state of ones existence. Can a person realize the actual state of ones being, how that it is shaped by opinion and conclusion? If you are caught up in images of self projection, the illusion of the ideal, then you are not able to see. You are blinded by your conditioned mind. A mind that sees and interprets only according to its beliefs.

If you can walk away from all the accumulated psychological nonsense that shapes your attitudes and actions, then perhaps you will realize the truth of the moment. Can you look as though you were a blank page? As a pure "intelligence" that has no agenda or mission in life. One who is not looking to make a dollar or manipulate another into a self serving activity. Can you accept the reality of insecurity? Can you live in the unknown, in the actual reality of the moment? If it is possible for you do this then you will realize an existence of peace and joy. You will see the futility of living life as an organism that is obsessed with acquiring, the futility of a mind that is acquisitive and self absorbed.

Having realized the truth, how will you live? Will you try to change yourself? Or is the realization the change, the transformation that is not an activity of the self. Do you see that the self is the problem. It is the illusion of thoughts need for continuity, of permanency. Thought as the self is the problem, it is the result of ones conditioning. All thought is conditioned because thought its self is a product of conditioning, it cannot be otherwise. So when thought as the self is not, the truth is. With the dissipation of the self, a consciousness that is unconditioned comes into being, it is the realization of the true self. The unconditioned is not a result it is always there in the absolute moment, but it is covered over by the self that is seeking and acquiring.

The true self is without definition or identity. It is as pure and absolute as death. The reality of the unknown is its truth. That which cannot be touched by thoughts desires and beliefs.

The Difficulty with Seeing

People have talked with me about an inability to see their own true nature and to realize that all their conflict is essentially self inflicted. When the mind has been so conditioned by the past, over a lifetime, it is very difficult to find the vulnerability that allows one to open up to the reality of the absolute moment. We want desperately to believe we have not wasted our lives following doctrines of self aggrandizement and illusion. But it is never to late to realize the truth and reality of a self that has lived in the illusion of the known. The first step is to find the ability to realize a freedom that allows one to wipe the slate clean. If one can set aside all those beliefs that have shaped ones mind into its present state of conclusion and opinion then it is possible to realize a new perspective. A perspective that is devoid of any conceptual ideal. A state of existence where anything is possible because there is no thought as self image to block the truth of the moment. When reference is made to self image what is meant is the whole content of ones conditioned consciousness, that which is the projected illusion of a self that "knows". When there has been "true" realization, which means that which is not the conceptual, but the actual experiencing in the moment then there is freedom that allows one to see without the self as a defined entity that is seeking the continuity of itself in time/space.

There is an intelligence that is without the emotionally charged attachment to ones desires and beliefs. Only when there has been a dissipation of ones obsession with a self created ideal does one begin to see. You must realize that you are caught up in your own self created reality that is the illusion of a mind that is a prisoner of its own conditioning. If you cannot get past your own opinions and conclusions then you will always be deluded and you will never be free. You will continue to live a life of conflict, confusion, and violence. You will excuse your own inadequacy by finding fault with others, by projecting your own feelings of failure and dissatisfaction on others.

So one has tried to help you see, to give you a word and a concept, but the word is not the reality. There must be a intuitive insight into the workings of the self. One must realize that the observer is the observed and that its dissipation is the beginning of freedom. Freedom that will allow an intelligence to flower that is not something concocted by the mind that is seeking. It is difficult, but if you have passion and vulnerability it will come to you when you least expect it.

Once the illusion of self has been fully realized it is actually very easy to see the truth of the moment. It is the self that poses the difficulty, one has motivations that do not allow one to see. So the mind is trapped in its own psychological maze of desires and conceptual fantasy's. But if you realize that you are trapped and conditioned, then it is possible to break through your own prejudicial mind and find the freedom that allows one to see.

Rebirth

What does it mean to be born to die and then to experience rebirth? Is it a fantasy of some religious or spiritual quest? Is it part of some doctrine of eternal life? All these things may be the result of a mind that is seeking continuity beyond the grave. A form of escapism that provides some future reward for good deeds and a life of piety. Or perhaps it is simply the conceit of a mind that is obsessed with its own self importance. To be certain if it is a "belief" then it is the desire of an entity that wants to continue in some form or to realize a new life in order to escape the conflict of the present life. But the fact is you must face the reality of what you are this very moment. Because therein lies the truth. If you stay with the reality of what you actually are then it is possible to realize something that is beyond the self. Something that is not escapism into some sort of spiritual fantasy. When you live a life as a defined entity with a personality that is a predictable result of the past, then one seeks to continue. It is the desire to see ones psychological investment continue in some form or metamorphosing into something even greater. But in the absolute moment if you suddenly realize the true self that is without the desire to escape or to believe in some fantasmic future life, then something quite incredible may happen. You may realize a consciousness that is unconditioned. An existent state of being that is a death and birth from moment to moment. It is a consciousness that is not a continuity of what has been, the new and never before from moment to moment. It is the yoga of oneness that transcends all belief and desire.

Instead of being caught up in the fantasy of belief and projected rapture, one realizes the truth and beauty of this moment of the eternal present, which is not the result of a mind that is seeking anything. It is the outcome of freedom from the past and of ones projected future, freedom from the known and from knowing. One either continues as the old self that is a repetition of what has been or one is born anew in each moment and dies to the past which is the old and without validation. If your past has validity in the moment, then you are not living in the moment you living in the past. Do not allow it to have validity then you will be a new person from moment to moment realizing an intelligence that transcends the illusion of thought as the self.

Who wants the old self to continue, to experience rebirth, to be a self serving individuality. Surely it is the conceit of the ego/self that is seeking permanency. Find that which has never been then you will realize the true self, the birth of that which is unconditioned in each and every moment.

Just Walk Away

On this journey no baggage is allowed, not even a carry on. Is it possible to live life in such a state of total freedom that in life one can walk in any direction without the least amount of fear? To live a life of total acceptance. Acceptance that is the intelligence of a being that is without thoughts anxieties and self indulgent fantasy's. If one can see the truth directly then it is possible to walk away from all minds activities that create a psychological prison of fear and apprehension. When one has understood the true nature of attachment and therefore negated its false sense of security then one can walk away from all circumstances that are the result of confusion, conflict and violence. Whether it is a job, relationship or a self created image of an ideal, one may walk away without imprint on ones consciousness. Because there is understanding that is not the result of a self seeking image, there is no retention. It has been dealt with as a finality that is a dying to the past. In death (of psychological imprint) there is no coming back, no residual psychological evidence of having been. So one can walk away without the stain of regret or remorse.

To walk away is not to be confused with avoidance which is something entirely different. In avoidance there is always the psychological fear of what may happen. It is the projection of a fear based apprehension. When a person understands the origin of fear and the difference that is between what is self projection and what is the truth of the moment, then there is a dissipation of all fear. To walk away is not the result of avoidance and fear, it is the outcome of total understanding. Psychologically when you walk away it is because you understand desire and the potential resulting conflict of a mind that is seeking identity through attachment. When "walk away" is the outcome of freedom it means you are not walking toward a new something to replace the old something. You accept the voidness, the vacuum of that moment. In that moment you realize the true self that is complete and without need of anything.

So if you can realize in the moment the "actual" circumstance of your fear, confusion and conflict then you will move in a totally different direction. A direction that you have not taken before. You will be out of character because your action will be outside the norm of your conditioned existence. It will be a transforming release that will change you permanently. To "walk away" is to realize the new and never before that has no logic or plan, because it is the outcome of freedom from the known.

Love Without Neurosis

The human mind is filled with ideas about relationships and the way that they should transpire. We are largely dysfunctional when it comes to understanding the source of our own struggles with relationship and love. A person has to start with the self that is a defined individual with desires and aspirations. We seek to fulfill an image of the ideal that is the result of our experience and environment. If it is possible for you to be aware of your own movement in time as a being that is seeking an image then one may be able to realize the truth of the moment. A person may be able to realize the futility of seeking fulfillment in the projected image of that which is outside the self. All humanity exist in relationship yet we never fully understand the psychological implications of our interconnectedness. So relationships become a neurotic attachment of the self that is seeking fulfillment in the other. This seeking of fulfillment is what we call love. Yet how can the truth of love be a requirement of the self that is seeking? Surely one is just looking for a conditional relationship that fulfills a desire. So one loves as long as the "other" meets ones conditions for a continued relationship. Those conditions are ones neurosis.

The mind is constantly on the prowl for that which will give it what it desires. But what it desires is the ideal, which is the fantasy of a mind in transition. Because one is incapable of self fulfillment one seeks the illusion of an outside relationship that will satisfy desires. The conditions of that relationship are the neurosis of ones accumulated self image. Then how is it possible to realize love that is not a product of ones neurotic self? It is important to realize that one who lives in the illusion of self image will never find a satisfying relationship. One must first realize the true self that is absent the duality of a mind that is seeking. Then love is not something that is acquired. It is part of ones being, an inseparable element of a mind that is at peace with existence.

If you are love then all your relationships are without condition. You love, because you are in the absolute moment in which there is only the eternal unconditioned consciousness that is free of all projected image. Which means you are without judgment, opinion or conclusion. It is the dissipation of the ego/self which the basis for all illusion. Now one is free from the neurosis of ones fears and anxieties. One may be able to see directly that one must be vulnerable to life in order to love, to accept and to give of ones self without prejudice.

Nuerotic love is the conditional illusion of a self absorbed individuality that is lost in the demands of sensory desire. So it is not really love at all it is simply expansion of self image at the expense of another. Only a person that is free of attachment and desire can truly love. It is the unconditional acceptance of the reality of the moment.

Living Without Attachment

What does it mean to be attached? Is it at all possible to live "unattachment" in a society that is acquisitive? Perhaps the greatest human fear is a lack of identity, which is essentially what happens upon death. For the vast majority of us life is spent searching for and achieving an individuality that conforms to an ideal. To be a defined "somebody" that has a purpose in life and a reason for living. Normally we look outside ourselves to find a "niche" that we fit into. We surround ourselves with those things that we identify with. We become attached to that which defines us. Our attachments become our identity. But they also are our limitation and our prejudice. The mind that is attached to things that define is a petty mind that is self absorbed and caught up in its own desires. Such a mind desires conformity to its beliefs and its prejudicial actions which are the result of its attachments. Psychological attachment to things, ideas and beliefs result in the conflict and violence of the conforming requirements of a mind that is seeking the image of self in what is. The mind demands conformity to its own attachments in order to maintain a continuity of self image. All that is not a conformity both as idea and reality is viewed as "foreign" and potentially hostile.

There is a interesting phenomena that occurs if one can live without attachment. A person begins to realize that when there is no attachment there is no conflict. It is the dissipation of a mind that dwells in position and therefore opposition. To live without attachment is to negate the duality of thought as the self that clings to the ideal. This is a very important realization. If one can observe directly the mind that is caught in its own self created image, then it is possible to negate all attachment. If ones consciousness is aware and in a state that allows the unconditioned to flower then it is possible to realize an intelligence that transcends the self. In the absolute moment of full and complete realization, attachment is seen directly for what it is. There is no interpretation or conclusion about its status, it simply falls away as the outcome of freedom. This is important, it is NOT an action or activity of the self that is seeking some sort of higher consciousness. Seeking is a form of desire, which can only lead to illusion. It is in the simplicity of the absolute moment in which the self dissipates. One is an awareness that is absent all save an unconditioned intelligence that sees through the dual nature of thought.

The person that lives without attachment is incredibly free. One sees directly the true nature of all conflict and the origin of the self that is identified, attached and projected. Such a person cannot be touched psychologically by any activity of those that live in the illusion of self. It is the illumination of a life lived without attachment.

How am I Aware?

When a person actually sees in the moment that he or she is conditioned, then one is aware. Total awareness is the outcome of a mind that is "Meditative" in the sense that ones awareness spans the entire psychological spectrum of ones consciousness. It is a deep realization of ones conditioned and primal existence. Such a being's existent consciousness can only be hinted at. One exist in and as the unknown and unknowable. In order for one to truly experience awareness that is not the illusion of a self indulgent aspiration, a person must see and realize directly that all that is observed is the projection of self. That all interpretation and conclusion of existence is a manufactured reality that is wholly the result of thoughts desire for continuity. Thought realizes that continuity through the illusion of self which is thoughts created image of an entity that has a past and a projected future. Continuity cannot exist in the absolute moment because there is no past or future. There is only the truth and reality of the absolute moment in which the defined self ceases to exist. If one is aware in that moment then there is realization of the true self, that which is unconditioned. The outcome is intelligence that transcends thoughts illusion of a self that knows.

Most people believe that they are being aware when in fact they are just practicing a method as a means to an end. In the truth of awareness there is nothing to be gained. It is not a religious or spiritual accomplishment. It is the simplicity of not knowing. It is a meditation that is without purpose or goal. The first is an ending of the self, a dissipation of an identified and named entity, then true awareness, then total freedom from the known. Now one sees directly the truth of the moment sans a self that is comparing and concluding. It is the consciousness of the unconditioned which cannot be named or defined. The outcome is an organism that is at peace and that loves and accepts unconditionally.

So how are you aware? There is no how to it. There is only awareness that is the outcome of total freedom. Put away your prejudicial beliefs and opinions, become vulnerable to life and live the moment as it actually is, not what you want it to be. Then you will find a new person, but it will not be an individual that is concocted by a mind that is seeking. It is life lived in the beauty and transparency of the unknown.