Buddhist Illusion

We met for lunch at a local cafe. H, was a retired gentleman who had lead a very successful life in the medical field. We had talked on a previous occasion and he was anxious to get into further discussions about "illusion" and my particular comments on the subject. He greeted me with a traditional Buddhist salutation. His wife was Japanese, he had converted to her faith of Zen many years ago, although he was proud to say that it was not a "religion" in the commonly understood sense.

He said in deep baritone voice that hinted at the authority of years of leadership, "So L, things are well with you and how is your business?" Its good to see you H, things are well and business is enjoyable. I smiled at him and shook his out stretched hand. "I have been doing some thinking since we last had our conversation about illusion and decided to read though some sutra's on the subject." "I must admit that I was some what taken aback at your comment about the essence of illusion as the formulation of all ones thought processes, that Buddhism its self is born of illusion." " To have a thought must be a necessary element in one's search for illumination, satori and enlightenment." "Still the sutra's beg the question, that one must come to a point of nothingness, but it seems that it must all begin with a thought." My response: Does the study of a religious text bring one to a point of understanding? Or have you just accumulated more in the way of knowledge that supports your illusion of knowing? The mind that is in illusion can only realize its content, which is the confirmation and continuation of its illusion. The mind that is clouded with the known, with all the teachings of all the sages through history, can never realize that which is beyond knowing. The truth of the moment is original, it has nothing to do with the repetitive nature of defined logic or for that matter with what appears to be the illogic of Zen or any other "Buddhist" methodology. If a person is at all serious, then all conceptual "beliefs" must be negated. One cannot escape illusion by simply defining its parameters and attempting to understand through a defined self, which is the progenitor of all illusion.

H looked at me with a perplexed expression on his face and said, "You mean I should just disregard all the sutra's, abandon my "Buddhist" beliefs?" I said, what do you think? Their was a long pause. He could not answer. I gestured with an outstretched hand and said, only you can answer that question. It depends on where you are at and how much you still rely on your conditioning. "You mean my conditioning as a Buddhist?" Isn't all conditioning relevant regardless of how we label it? "Yes, Yes you are right and just now I see something that I had not realized before." He smiled. I said, now do not conceptualize it and turn it into something to be sought again and again. The moment has passed, let it go. Allow each moment to be original, a rebirth.

"You know L, I really enjoy talking with you." "Its interesting to me, how you are so simple, yet behind that simplicity is this insight that pierces though self illusion." I chuckled and said, I am no different than you. I live with the same illusion. The only difference is that I am aware in the moment. The outcome of which is the realization of the true self, an awareness that is choiceless and timeless. "How will I explain this to my wife?" I said, Why explain? And if you did what would you explain? Just live the freedom of the absolute moment, which needs no explanation. We parted with a hug and the understanding that we would talk again.

Medical Intuitives

We were having a conversation about problems related to health and well being. She stated that a friend had told her that most of her problems might be related to the spleen. She said that this friend was spiritually adept and said that he knew of someone that might help her. B said, "I called this person who is a "medical intuitive", who works with energy and healing." "She (energy healer) knew right away what might be my problem and said she would work on it." "And L, you know in a little while I started feeling a lot better." "So I am feeling really good right now." "I called J, and told her about it and she said it was probably just me, that I made myself feel better." "But I choose to believe that it was that spiritual energy that helped." "I really believe that energy can be channeled and can help you overcome adversity."

Well B, I think that I am on the same page as J. How much did you pay this "medical intuitive"? It was sixty dollars. A sixty dollar phone call? "Yes". B, I have traveled the world and met with many so called Guru's, Adepts, Shamans, Priest of every caste and I can tell you without reservation that all are looking for essentially the same thing, acknowledgement of their superior spirituality and a buck for telling you about it. If someone sets themselves up as an authority then you can be assured that it is for the self and its gratification. Though they may not be consciously aware of it, the self that knows always seeks its validation in what is. "But L, aren't you an authority of sorts." A person can only have authority if you give them authority. The authority of the self, seeks the authority of that which will confirm and validate ones own authority, which is belief in the illusion of a self that knows. I have no authority as such. This person is without the need for acknowledgement, agreement or validation. It is because their is no one here who knows or seeks to know. Their is only the truth of the absolute moment which is realized as the outcome of the dissipation of the known. I have not provided anyone with a belief or a philosophy as such, though people who are seeking will invariably create what it is that they are seeking out of what is said, as a continuation of what is known. The mind seeks continuity in what it knows and so it reconciles, modifies or discards what is so that it conforms with ones beliefs. In the absolute moment their is in reality nothing that can be recognized as a repetition of what has been. Their is only the projected illusion of the known, the authority of ones beliefs.

B laughed, and said "My God, my head is spinning, I just don't get what you are saying." "I mean I understand some of what you have said but its confusing and seems to contradict what you have said at other times." "I feel like you are attacking me and my beliefs." It just seems like I am attacking you. Actually I am trying to help you see in the moment without all the baggage. To see something totally new, something that you have not realized about yourself. I am not criticizing you or in anyway denigrating you. I am speaking to the true self, the nameless, that which is without the conditioning of belief or non-belief. B said, "Well I think I must have my beliefs otherwise why go on?" Yes why? indeed.

Allowing the Moment

We were joining some friends at a party. The party was held at at another friends house. The house was grand, its architecture was a mix of Spanish colonial with Moorish influences. The ceiling in the main rooms were soaring, up to about thirty feet. In the gathering room the ceiling had been painted with fresco's depicting the seasons which were separated by large beams. The floor was distressed walnut with a very large silk Oriental carpet at its center. The room was furnished with European antiques and leather upholstered sofas and chairs. H, was the owner of the house. He had made his wealth in the aerospace industry and later in politics. I had worked in his house on occasion, building built in cabinets in various rooms. He approached and welcomed me to the party and said how much he enjoyed the work that I had done. He was an unassuming and gentle man who was given toward generosity and kindness. He smiled with a big toothy grin and said, "L, some friends have told me that you are the author of that Buddhist Blog, whats it called?" He paused looking for help. Yes I am the one, but I prefer to remain anonymous. "Why?", he said, "Its good, I mean I don't completely understand all that you are saying, but it seems to have a lot of insightful messages." Its in my nature to be without acknowledgement, to be selfless, which is simply being aware in the moment. He said, "I had no idea that you were a Buddhist and so spiritual." Actually I am not really Buddhist nor am I particularly spiritual. The Buddha was not a "Buddhist". It seems to me that he was very much an iconoclast with regard to the idealism of religion. Hence the title Iconoclasticbuddha. For me the truth lies in the negation of the known. Whatever I think that I know or believe in, is negated. Its allowing the moment, the essence of what is without the projection of my particular mind set. "I'm not quite sure what you mean." "How is it possible to think in a manner in which you are eliminating what you know." Through awareness that is choiceless and timeless. When their is no self that knows, then what is left? Mind takes on a new quality. One in which their is freedom to explore the unknown without trying to capture it and make it part of a system of belief. When you allow the moment, then the unknown envelopes you. Now something original is possible, a realization about the self and its conditioning. It is to see through the illusion of permanency and continuity. The ending of time as what was, as the self that knows. Then one no longer lives in the past tense. "But L, how is it possible that people could live this way?" You mean live without the violence of mine and yours, of systems of belief that only harbor suspicion and rejection. To live a life of peace and freedom that frees one from the bonds of self loathing and prejudice. It is simple, one only needs to be aware of the self and its propensity to justify and reconcile. It starts with acceptance of the truth of the moment, which can only be realized when the self that knows has dissipated. But to break through ones accumulated conditioning is very difficult. It takes passion and vulnerability. To realize that your whole life has been one of repetition, of repeating ones defined image of self illusion. "I don't know that I completely agree with or understand what you are saying, but it certainly makes you think of the possibility of something 'different'." "I will have to think more on what you have said."

Across the room I spotted my friend M, who was signaling me to come over. We greeted each other with hugs. M, was a very attractive female who made no bones about her sexuality and ability to attract men. However M was no push over, she was extremely intelligent and would play with peoples intellectual inadequacy. "L, I am totally bored with this crowd, you are perhaps the only one worth my considerable talent for mischief." We both laughed out loud as if we were the only ones capable of genuine humor. "So how is my Buddha these days?" Very well and you. "How could I be anything but?" "So did you give H an ear full of the 'illusive'?"
We talked a little, but like so many, he tries to understand through his conditioning. "Well perhaps you put a chink in his armor." Yes I think so, it only takes a small amount of light in a totally dark room. M said, "Wow L, I need to remember that one." We walked into the library where one other couple was talking as they sipped champagne. We sat down on a huge sofa that faced an enormous fireplace of carved stone. "L, I have not told you this, because I really dislike being vulnerable to a man (laughter), but you have really opened my eyes." "Thanks for being my friend and for all your wisdom and understanding." Actually I have done very little, it is you who have caused the change, who has realized the truth of the moment. "For the first time in my life I am completely without fear." "Thanks for setting me free." "I am now without the need for anything, things come my way without effort or worry." "Its strange, when I first met you I thought, who is this weirdo, and whats he talking about?" "Well you are still a weirdo, (laughter), an alien, but one who can touch the deepest part of consciousness and make you realize the truth about yourself." "I have seen, its scary for most people, they don't want to look." "But once you look, realize that self illusion, then you are changed forever their is no going back." "Well enough of this esoteric crap...I think you should kiss me, but no tongue!" We laughed, kissed and left the party.

Authority of the Self

It was a meeting of "free thinkers", they were gathered together as the result of an invitation to a musical invocation. The musician's were of the "new age" genera. Their music was quite harmonious and with a type of chant that went deep into the subconscious. It seems there are certain sounds that touch a part of the psyche and bring on a physical and psychological state of peace and wellness. After the music, people casually gathered in small groups to discuss various subjects of interest.

A friend approached and began to inquire about what was said at a previous meeting. G said, "L, A couple of weeks ago you were talking about the authority of the self and how a person must get past this authority". "It was really interesting and I have not been able to stop thinking about it". "I am much involved in Buddhist studies and what you said seems to be in line with Buddhist thought". I smiled and said, You must realize that this person is not a Buddhist and does not claim to know anything that would classify him as an expert in "Buddhist Religion". G Laughed and said, "Yes, yes I know, I have heard you say that you are either a Buddha or a Buddhist, but you cannot be both". "But still you are certainly illuminated in some manner though I do not know what". It is good to not "know what", that way when the truth hits you upside the head you will recognize it as such. Now we were both laughing loudly. People around us were wondering what all the humor was about.

We sat down next to others who wanted to listen. G said, "OK L, about the 'authority of the self ', I want to understand what you mean". The authority of the self is the "last frontier" so to speak, in a journey that for some begins with religion and systems of belief. If you are truly passionate about finding the truth then you cannot leave any stone unturned. A person must, if they are at all serious, look at every circumstance both the religious and the secular to find the truth. And a person must do this without prejudice and from a state of emptiness that does not judge or conclude. G said, " But L, how can a person look without prejudice, we are what we are, what we have been taught?" That is very true, and this is the key. A person must realize in the moment that they are conditioned and that one cannot overcome conditioning by force of will. There has to be a negation of all that a person has accumulated over the years in order to realize the reality of the moment and the true self. So negation is the key. This is why the Buddha was essentially iconoclastic. You cannot realize truth directly through the self that knows. You can only negate the known so what is left is the truth of the moment. You must see and realize clearly that what you know is the illusion of self projection. It is in fact the authority of the self. This is what we do, we establish authority as the self that knows and then we give authority to others as a way of avoiding responsibility. The responsibility for realizing the truth of the moment. That authority takes the form of religion, philosophy, politics, and any number of other systems and subsystems of belief. So, any form of belief or for that matter non belief, closes the door on what may be the truth of the moment. You see, belief and non belief are one in the same, because both emanate from the authority of the self. Actually there are not types of belief there is only the mind that is caught in the activity of believing. All belief is the same, it is the result of a mind that is seeking the validity of self knowing in the moment. One must neither believe nor not believe. Such a mind is open, it is has not self imposed limitations that may stifle the truth of the moment. K interrupted and said, "I don't understand, how are belief and non belief the same"? I asked, Why do you believe? "I suppose I believe because...well I want to believe". There was laughter. "I mean if you have no belief then your life has no direction". And what has your belief done for you, are you more understanding, are you without prejudice? Doesn't belief actually create prejudice, the ideal of "us and them", those who know and are in favor with God and those who are damned. You must look at the reality of belief and what it has done to destroy. Look at the hate and violence that is associated with the activity of belief. Now, I can say that I am an atheist and that I don't believe, but the reality is that the formulated ideal of non belief is a form of belief. I have essentially defined my self, and that is what belief is all about, defining a self that knows. It is to exist in a vacuum of continuity, of identification and attachment to an ideal. Which even though we modify and reconcile is still the activity of a mind that exist in the illusion of the known. So if you are intelligent and see the truth, you neither believe nor not believe. You are open to the moment, the self that knows has dissipated. Your mind is clear, at peace, you are not looking for validation or confirmation of what it is you believe. You have cleaned house, all the cobwebs are gone. Now, in the moment it is possible that something may be realized that has never been, the totally new, an original insight into the self. Something that cannot be held by memory. It is the changeless change. Each moment is the new and never before. One's life takes on an innocence and vulnerability that overshadows anything that the world can throw at you. The self that is all the beliefs and accumulations of identification and attachment are now of a secondary concern. Once you have realized the true self all else is seen for the illusion that it is.

So getting back to the original question, the authority of the self is simply a consciousness that has been conditioned by what we believe, all our accumulated experiences. We essentially live through our conditioning which is projected authority of self, it controls how we think and act, we are slaves to it. To realize that you are brainwashed by what has been (accumulated past) and that you exist in a repetitious pattern of conflict, confusion and violence is the beginning of the end of living in the known. Realizing that to live in the moment is to live in the unknown, the true self which is the truth of what is.

The Simplicity of Just Living

It is important to realize understanding that allows you to look at circumstances from an entirely new perspective. It is a perspective in which the self that is constantly seeking to become is absent. The mind is always seeking the validity of its perception of what was in the moment, so it cannot see the truth of what is. The mind dwells in the known and what it knows always involves projection into what is. One cannot escape the fact of the self, with its peculiarities and personality, but a person can realize without it being a dominant force that blinds one to the truth. Anytime you think from a position that is a movement through time, then the result is centered in the illusion of knowing.

We were walking through the park, it was a beautiful evening. Spring flowers were just peeking through the grass and the birds were chirping wildly, flying around in circles looking for a place to nest. D said, "L, its interesting, you are so calm, a quiet intelligence that is somewhat mysterious". "At the same time you have this boyish charm that questions, is curious and full of humor". "How is it that you seem so free and content with the obvious simplicity of just living"? It is not a simple thing to just enjoy life. Because we a so consumed with getting and having, we miss the truly important things in existence. For me the key is acceptance, realizing the truth of the self and being able to accept the reality of who I am in the moment. Through acceptance one is able to change. Unfortunately most of us are in denial. That denial takes the form of illusion, the self created image of who one is, the conceptual, not the actual. Firstly a person has to be able to see the truth of the moment and you cannot do this unless you are choicelessly and timelessly aware. The mind is in a constant state of measuring and comparing. A person misses the moment because one is always seeking to be validated by the actions of another person or circumstance. The seeking of that validation is what consumes us. We want either approval or disapproval, so that we can pigeon hole the moment into our own petty definitions of what it is that we believe. In essence a person defines the moment based on the past, our archaic belief in some conceptual deity, that is in reality, the self that knows.

D said, "Its interpretation isn't it"? "We understand according to our own experience". Yes that is so, understanding that is the result of conditioning, both the negative and the positive. "So how do we arrive at a realization of this conditioning that would prompt one to change"? Its not so much an arrival because then one gets caught up in accomplishment and all that goes with the self that is seeking. The mind can only seek and find its content in the form of the modified and reconciled. To realize the new and never before, which is "the change", one cannot be seeking, one can only be aware. The quality of that awareness is dependent on the dissipation of the one who "knows". That is when you realize in the moment that the one who knows and what he knows are one in the same. They are not separate, but are representational of a mind that is in the conflict of duality. Seeing this in the moment is the beginning of an intelligence that penetrates the illusion of a conditioned mind set.

D sat down on a rock staring down at the grass. There was a moment of complete silence, thought had ceased its inquiry. We just sat there enjoying the peace of a mind that had no movement. Time had ceased to be a concept and space was without dimension. We were totally free. The freedom of the absolute moment had enveloped us, we were without form or function.