The Search for Something

If one takes a moment to look at life, really look at it without preconceived notions that are wrapped around our own insecurities, then perhaps we will discover the truth. It seems we are on this eternal quest to find some missing element that will somehow make life mean something.We can of course lose ourselves in some sort of self defining activity or an intellectual or spiritual pursuit. But these things only hypnotize us, they provide an escape, an avenue of release. Preoccupation with a physical or mental activity only delays and masks our feelings of emptiness and insecurity. All of us are engaged in the external as the projection of internal conflict and confusion. What we do and how we do it, our attitudes and our relationships are all a product of internal issues that are the result of self image.

There is always present the desire for definition, to be an identified somebody. We are constantly in search of something that will add to the definition of who we think we are. Our physical appearance becomes an outlet for the image that we seek. We may do all sorts of things to our physical appearance to support the illusion of the internal. Outwardly we become a cartoon of our internal insecurity. We may convince ourselves that we have improved and have acquired a new outlook on life. This we do through the brainwashing activities of the self that is seeking. One has not really found anything new, one has only modified ones old patterns and put a new face on it.

The fact that we search at all is the problem. The self created problem of internal conflict. Thought as the movement of self is the origin. It is very subtle, the mind creates a duality in the psyche that is the self that is searching or seeking. What it seeks is that which provides definition and identity. The self as the defined is the image of the continuity of ones individuality. It is a necessary element of individual and communal existence. But it is also the the origin of all conflict and violence. Because the self is insecure it seeks security in the external activities of a given community. The support of a community becomes very important, we become attached psychologically to what it provides. We are willing to sacrifice a lot in order to preserve the illusion of security.

What if a person sees through the illusion of the search for security? To live a life of freedom is to live a life in the reality of insecurity, to live the truth of the moment. When one accepts insecurity as true reality, then something happens to the psyche. One lets go of all the conceptual illusions of the self. It is the dissipation of self as the center of an entity that identifies and concludes. One is totally free. Ones actions are in the moment and free of the duality of the self that is scheming and exploiting.

If one is totally free, then there is no search and nothing to search for. There is only the joy of living in the moment, free of the seeking of the self absorbed.