Where does one begin?

Through awareness one is able to reach a level of sensitivity that brings into light all the nuances of a mind that is caught in the conditioned duality of self. It is very difficult to be totally aware, because mind is preoccupied with the challenges of day to day living. If one makes an effort one will find that awareness expands as one realizes the conditioning of a mind that seeks its own continuity. One in a sense breaks down the conditioning of the old so that one may have capacity for understanding that is not an acquisition of the motivational self. It is a new understanding that has no connection to the accumulated self. The self, which is the past, cannot exist in the absolute moment, but because one is "seeking" one passes through the moment to project that which one is seeking into future time. So one is always seeking what should be and not understanding what is. As soon as one defines the moment one moves from past time to future time. One escapes into the duality of self which is time/space. In awareness that is consciousness without the self, one is experiencing the timeless, that which is absent movement as space. This consciousness is the awakened state of that which is unconditioned, the selfless. One observes without the named, the observer. This awakened state cannot be made to happen through a practice, meditation or any other method that is grounded in an entity that is seeking. That entity can only project the accumulated as image. It cannot conceive of that which is beyond self.

In awareness that is timeless one experiences an awakening. That awakening cannot be captured as memory or definition, it is in the moment experiencing of what is. It is the truth of the absolute moment in which the reality of self is revealed. The outcome of that reality is the total dissipation of the separated, and the fusion of all duality. This awakening is understanding that emanates from the unknown. That which cannot be grasped by the movement of thought. It is an understanding that is not of time. It sees through the motivations of self into the very nature of existence. One has a clarity that brings peace and harmony to all that is encountered.

Awareness brings about understanding that is outside the limitations of thought. Understanding that is without an agenda or message, it is simply the total realization of self that is mirrored in relationship. Within that realization is the possibility of the flowering of illumination. The self cannot become illuminated, because self exist as the conceptual, as thoughts separated illusion of continuity. Illumination is the outcome of a very deep understanding that is the total absence of being and non-being, that which is beyond all capacity. It is the death of all save the illuminating moment. When thought attempts to understand that which is illumination, one becomes lost in a definitive abyss. It cannot be grasped by that which is conditioned, the realm of the known. One is caught in the self created conflict of living as that which is separated, so one is confused and disintegrated. Such a mind is incapable of understanding that which is without attachment or identity.

One may separate awakening, understanding, and illumination and view them as steps to arrive at a goal or to find that which is sought. But one will only find the projected image of self. They are not the steps of a method or practice. They are of the unitary unknown. One separates in order for thought to have a reference point. But in the end when thought has grasped the illusion of the self created, then there is the dissipation of the separated and of that which separates. The cessation of all division is the realization of illumination that is not a product of psychological effort or a result of religious piety. Awareness that is timeless, that which is without the movement of self is the beginning. One must begin without the concept of a beginning, and therefore have the realization that there is nothing to be gained. There is only the "moment" in which one realizes the true self.